Grief Support Library


What a Life

by Amanda Gummow

Well, I've never known my father, he kinda took off before I was born, so my mother was my only parent I had....that was, until the most tragic day of my life -- September 4th, 2001. That's the day my mother committed suicide.

When I turned thirteen I moved from my mother's house to a group home in a city about a half hour drive from her. I moved due to neglect. My mother got into using crack/cocaine when I was around the age of 8 because my grandmother passed away and my mother had a miscarriage a month previous to that tragedy. I found out about her addiction when I was about 10 and couldn't deal with it anymore by the age of 13.

I became a very angry person and I was afraid of change but I knew I had to accept it. A few years passed and my mom had completed a program in a rehabilitation centre and she was clean from drugs until the day she died. The only thing is, she needed something to replace it....she took up alcoholism...drinking.

While I was dealing with my own life in my group home my mom was living hers. She met a man named Terry and was "in love." They were to be married (but never did), and I didn't approve. He himself had a drinking problem along with an anger one. He was no good for my mother at all.

Terry and my mom (Deborah Gummow) lived together for a year and continued their party lifestyle. I guess my mom just couldn't deal with it anymore and was too embarrassed to reach out to our family friends about her sorrows, because just this year she committed suicide by jumping off a building.

I had just entered the eleventh grade and was enjoying my school year. I also have just moved out on my own independently on August 25th, 2001. A couple of days into school had passed and I had received a phone call from my program director of my previous residence informing me of important news that he had to tell me in person.

The funeral was VERY depressing but I seemed to be doing okay with it all. It's now September 27th, 2001 and I'm a complete mess! I just dropped out of school for the semester and I can't sleep at night anymore. I know I'm not alone in this situation, but I don't know what to do.


I'm a 16 year old female struggling with the most difficult thing ever....a mother's suicide!